A Black Friday Shopping Tale

I was standing half-naked in a dressing room at Macy’s when a complete stranger burst into the little cubicle.

“What the!” I leapt aside, grabbing my sweater and trying to hid the pertinent parts. The man turned and stared, his eyes wide, his expression frantic.

“Look, I’m not gonna hurt you, lady, but there are some bad guys on my tail…” He held up a finger and peeked out the sliding curtain.

“Shit!” He rushed to me and grabbed me by the elbows. My top fell on the floor and my bare boobs got up close and personal against his leather jacked. “Help me out of this jam and I’ll owe you.”

“Owe me? I don’t even know who you are!” Though I wasn't so sure I didn't want to get to know him. The brute strength in his arms, the great cleft in his chin and a really yummy manly scent were all secondary to his grungy Brad Pitt appearance. Which I normally would have not thought much of but somehow … well, in the flesh my "Brad" was pretty damn hot.

“I’ll explain later. I’m one of the good guys, OK?” And then he started dropping his pants.

“Whoa!” I jerked out of his arms but he paid me no attention at all. Instead, he pulled his pants off (commando – why was I not surprised?) and ran over to me.

“Quick, just pretend that we’re fucking…” and he pushed me down onto the plus bench and wiggled my skirt up past my thighs and started rutting around like a mad dog.

Except that he was particularly well-hung "dog", and he, well, let’s just say danger became the man. He was big, hard and pushing against my fairly well-starved little pussy. I forgot for a moment what was going on, but then a gruff growl outside my door reminded me.

“OK, buddy, but when I say you owe me, I mean, you owe me BIG TIME.” I hissed and clutched him in my arms, snuggling up against him.

“No problem. Now, can we get on with the distraction? I need them to think we’re just a horny couple …” And he started rubbing himself against me.

I spread my legs and wrapped them around his thighs. My skinny little thong got pushed out of the way and I felt flesh against flesh just as someone grabbed the curtain. His cock was big, thick, hard and despite the noise outside, all I could focus on was him against my wetness. Pushing, just a little, spreading me, just a little, and then….

The stranger slid in and the bad guys burst in and all I could scream was, “Oh my God! Oh my God!”

“Sorry,” was the last I heard from the bad guys as they turned and left the dressing room.

My stranger was still on top of me and he was grinning. I wonder why?

“Care to finish what we started, Ma'am?”

“Aren’t you worried about someone interrupting us?”

“Someone already did.” And he lunged forward, filling me up and no one ever noticed the groans from the dressing room amid the post-Thanksgiving melee.

That's when I decided shopping on Black Friday wasn’t so bad after all.

Talk To Me Like The Rain and Let Me Listen

Layla stretched out upon Egyptian cotton sheets and purred like a sated feline. Niccolo ran one long finger across the flesh between her legs and watched her arch. Truly a pussycat, this one, he thought.

Her secretive smile caused his groin to tighten and ache. She was a miracle of sensual beauty. A woman who would do all a man wanted; decadent, hedonistic things. With her hands. Her mouth. Just touching her breasts made him hard. Sinking into the sweet heat of her body was beyond ecstasy.

His fingers slid inside her moist flesh, flexing as she writhed. The smile never left her face and her eyes sparkled beneath half-closed lids.

"More!" Her murmur was an aphrodisiac. He pushed her onto her back, spread her legs and leaned down to taste. With lips and tongue he thoroughly explored her cunt. He repeatedly brought her to the edge of orgasm before her entreaties led him to take pity on her.

Thrusting his unbearably hard cock deep into her, he fucked her hard, watching her face as he did so. When she spasmed around him he redoubled his efforts. The sensation of her flesh clenching on his spurred him on.

"You are made for fucking, Layla. You feel incredible."

"More, Niccolo!"

"Your pussy is joy - I could stay in you forever. I dream of sleeping with my cock inside you, feeling you tight as a glove around me. "

"Oh, Niccolo - talk to me! Talk to me like the rain .... drown me in your words ... like the clouds have opened and I am soaked and wet and slick .... cover me with your voice!"

Her voluptuous voice and her breathless panting stroked him and he plundered her flesh maddened like a beast. Uncontrollable with desire. He wanted to consume her.

Then he broke like a thunderstorm, the lightening of pleasure smashing through his body until his cum flooded inside her, hot, liquid. He filled her with his life force and reveled in the joining of their bodies in the brutal, boisterous act.

Afterward, they lay entwined as the gauzy curtains wafted in the evening breeze off the water. Layla was limp beneath him, her heart beating a steady rhythm beneath his chest. Her spirit was strong. Her appetites voracious. Yet her skin was silken and her hands gentle.

"Sit up," she whispered against his lips. He rolled to his side and sat up on the edge of the bed as she slid off and down between his legs.

Her gaze on his semi-erect cock - he was never fully soft around Layla - was one of hunger and yearning.

She leaned over and ran her tongue up the length, suckled the broad head, her tongue tickling his slit. Sucking him deep once and then twice, she looked up at him and licked her lips where a smile played.

She paused in her suckling to smile up at him.

"Talk to me, Niccolo....talk to me like the rain and let me listen."

Shooting the Rocket

Alexa hugged her Magnum 357 to her chest. She was huddled inside the closet of her target hoping to evade detection until her back-up arrived. The guy was such a loser – if he’d been watching the house he’d have spotted the perp returning and could have warned her. Instead in bopped the low-rent Lothario with his latest lady. Now they were doing the mattress mambo with great vigor. She was getting a little nauseous listening to the couple’s love talk.

“Oh, Big Daddy, that’s right, give Momma your love rocket – right there, baby!”

“You like that, little Momma? Like your honey box stuffed with Daddy’s meat, huh?”

The banging of the headboard drowned out the next few lines, thankfully. If her partner didn’t get here soon she was going to shoot herself in the head so she didn’t have to listen to any more. God, she’d never be able to have sex again if this kept up.

“YES! Take me to heaven, ride your Daddy hard.”

The sound of smacking flesh and Alexa realized someone was getting a spanking. This was really starting to get to her.

She loved getting her ass swatted as much as the next gal, but something about this whole scenario smacked alright – of a bad Hollywood movie script.

Sounds resembling rutting pigs emanated from the room. She sat inside the smelly closet shaking her head in disbelief. Where the hell was Jack? The nimrod was probably giving himself a hand job in the car while she suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune in this stinky closet.

Thank God, finally, her cell phone vibrated against her hip. She checked the number and smiled grimly. Jack must finished spanking the monkey and decided to get back to work. He was coming in. Fortunately for Alexa, while the man was dumber than a box of rocks, he was a great cop. Big, fast and great with a gun.

Easing to a standing position ignoring her knees screaming in protest, she cracked the closet door. It wasn’t in a direct line of sight to the bed so she stuck her head out far enough to see the couple was still heavily engaged.

Stalking quietly, gun in position, she got an eyeful of Momma and Daddy fucking like bunnies.

The woman was a voluptuous sort and her target had a hold of her and was banging her up and down on a rod Alexa had to admit was pretty impressive. Hell, if only it had been attached to her last date she might have had a better time. This guy’s cock was a monster and she couldn’t help but admire the ride that gal was getting. Crappy dialogue notwithstanding.

Alexa stepped up to the bed. The woman’s eyes flew open, she squealed and jumped off her ride. Little Mike (and now Alexa knew where that nickname came from) opened his eyes and stared straight into the barrel of Alexa’s 357.

“Boy, talk about coitus interruptus,” she said with an evil smile.

Hot & Sweet

"Touch me," he said. He sat in the chair, his once powerful legs now slender and still. He couldn't always get an erection, but sometimes, we managed a bit of a stiffy.

But he loved to watch me. I was naked and I kneeled between his legs, my gaze reverent and my lips curved as I thought of the joy of sucking his cock as he held my head, urging me on with dirty words and gutteral moans.

We'd only been together since his accident. I'd known him for a year before. He had been the mechanic at my garage, and my trusty little Nissan always needed something. He'd smile and undercharge me and pat my dog on the head. Then he'd turn back to his next job, all serious and intense, determined to do the best work possible.

I heard about his accident in the drugstore. A young, angry woman had turned and pushed past those of us on the line at the pharmacy counter and the pharmacist had shaken her head, her expression one of annoyance.

"She was certainly in a hurry," I muttered conversationally.

"She's a bitch, is what she is."

I must have looked askance, because the lady pharamcist colored, and shrugged.

"She's the girlfriend of that mechanic, the handsome young guy from Mackeys?"

I held up my hands, ignorant of what she was talking about.

"He was in a car accident a few months back. He's paralyzed. In a wheelchair. The other driver was drunk and some congressman's son so he got off, but the poor guy's never going to walk again."

"I guess his girlfriend's not taking it well?"

"I heard her in the beauty parlor the other day bitching that she's expected to take care of him and she doesn't even get sex anymore."

I gasped, because it was simply that harsh a thought. That all the woman would be thinking of is her own gratification after her lover had lost the use of his legs.

The very next day I was at the hospital visiting my aunt Clara who had had yet another mini-stroke, and when I was directed to the physical therapy department where she was getting treated, I literally tripped over the man in question.

He was crying. Tears were still wet on his cheeks and I wanted to wrap my arms around him right then and there.

Behind him, out of the elevator, came the snippy bitch. Her face was red, and her mouth set in the thin line that says she's angry and not in the mood for anything.

Oblivious to me, she leaned over and hissed at him.

"You're useless, Brett, and I'm not gonna be tied to some guy in a chair who can't even get it up."

The shocking cruelty of her statement stunned me, and Brett stopped, mortified, and writhing in impotent rage. He watched as she stalked away down the hall and then swiped a swarthy, rough hand across his cheek.

"Sorry," he muttered and turned to head down the hallway.

On impulse I stepped in front of him.

"I'm Mary. I'm visiting my aunt but she's in therapy at the moment. Would you like to have lunch?"

"Pity for a crip?"

"Oh, fuck you." I was smiling as I said it to make sure he knew I was kidding, but then I realized the import of my expression. I blushed.

"As you probably heard, that's not likely."

"Look, I'm not the one to get pity from, Brett...?"

"Brett Holmes. You're Mary Stewart. '98 Nissan Sentra."

"You remembered?"

"I never forget a car. Or a well-stacked woman."

His comment might have been crude, but given the situation I decided to overlook it. Besides, it had been a long time since anyone had noticed.

"So, about lunch?"

"Why eat with me?"

"Why not? Are you contagious? Do you chew with your mouth open?" I grinned, cocked a hip, and watched his gaze roam over my body. I'm the stacked, old-fashioned type of girl. I fill a bra and I'm proud of it.

"OK. If you pay. I haven't got pockets on these things." He picked at the sweats he was wearing and I nodded with a smile.

That was six months ago. Right about the time he stopped his initial rounds of physical therapy he went back to work at the garage. He can't get under cars anymore, but the owner of the shop was happy to have his keen eye and his amazing ability with engines back. He directs folks and his specially-constructed chair can sit him up higher when he needs it. I spotted him while I was on the way to work one day and I pulled in to say hi. In the end I asked him out and after he wiped the look of surprise off his face he said yes.

He picked me up in his specially fitted truck and we've been together ever since.

I kneeled at my lover's feet and noted that this was going to be one of our good days. His cock was swelling and I grinned up at him before I leaned over and pulled him into my mouth.

His sigh was all the reward I needed.

What to do with a naked elf

With a naked man, generally the first thing I notice is not the guy’s ears. But when they’re pointed? That’s an elf of a different color. And the guy standing naked in my bedroom sure as shit looked like an elf to me. Long blond hair, piercing ice blue eyes, tall, a slender but nicely muscularly defined body and pointy ears. Oh, and an impressive erection that any elven maid would covet?

“Goddess, save me, are you the Seeker?” His voice sounded like water over stones. Smooth and clear.

“The what?”

“I must find the Seeker. It is foretold that I am to impregnate her and she will bear the child that will rejuvenate my world.”

“Why would you think I am the Seeker?” I couldn’t keep from asking.

“You are who the Visionary bade me find. A woman of raven hair and violet eyes, curves the Goddess would envy and a mouth made for kissing.”

The way he told it, I sounded sorta like the Seeker babe in question. Then he threw me for a real loop.

“Are you not Philomena? The Visionary saw the name in his scrying mirror.”

Whoa. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that was me. Before I could ask another question, my elf visitor strode forward. Now my eyes were on his awesome weapon of love, and when he took me in his arms, I could feel it, as well as see it.

“We must consummate our love immediately, Mistress Philomena. The Ravens were fast upon my heels. Once my seed has been planted in your womb, they will be powerless until the babe is born.

His arms were around me, and his lips very close. He smelled like grass and sunlight and pine. Deep in the pit of my belly I felt the first curling ache of desire begin to grow. Then I realized that while I’d been staring at him, he’d begun to remove my clothes. T-shirt and thong, they didn’t take long and I was standing naked in his arms, that cock of his pressed against my belly. The ache had moved down and I was wet with wanting exactly what he offered. My mind didn’t seem to comprehend what was happening. Beyond him everything seemed rather blurred and hazy. He lay me down on the sofa, his gaze questioning. It felt like someone else nodded her head, but it was definitely me he slid inside. So tight it was near to pain, he filled me and with concentration he pounded into me. An orgasm flowed through me, monstrous in its power. I screamed and clutched him, almost unconscious. But then the opposite wall of my cute Victorian house dissolved in a wall of flame, just as my elf came hard inside me, the heat of his cum bathing the walls of my womb. A wave like cool electricity washed over me and the hoards that poised to leap into my bedroom disappeared in a howling rush.

The Night I Got Stuck In The Elevator With Rocky

Kenny dumped me on Valentine's Day and I really hoped his next date, I don't know, gave him Herpes or something. He was a smooth talker, and a lousy lay - to my inexperienced mind, anyway - although he always told me I was about as much fun to fuck as a meter maid (sorry, ladies, his words, not mine....if you ever catch up with him, feel free to use that nightstick on him ...). He ended up by telling me I was boring.

"You have no imagination when it comes to sex."

I went to work on Tuesday after having cried my eyes out (what was I thinking?) til 2 am in the morning. He had taken me out for a "fancy" dinner and broke the news to me that I was old news. He'd even let it slip that my replacement - younger, thinner, bigger tits, and, oh, yeah, RICH - had moved into his apartment. He'd had my things packed up by his maid (a new acquisition - I guess Young/Thin/Rich/Bitch does blow-jobs, but she doesn't do windows?) and they were waiting with the doorman. The loser didn't even have the cahones to bring the boxes with him.

At work the insanity didn't help me at all and by 5 pm I was a sodden wreck, crying, sniffling, and blubbering all over my desk. Not that anyone noticed. Especially my boss who seemed to think that my tears were an absurd infringement on his ownership of my focus.

By 6 pm he'd hit the pavement, leaving me with a huge list of calls to make, appointments to schedule and a bunch of agreements that he insisted had to go out "tonight".

Our offices had been recently renovated and there was still a lot of work to be done, so the place looked like a war zone and no one ever stayed if they could help it. Can you say 'cough, cough' asbestos?

So, there I was, all alone on the entire floor, when the lights flickered, and went out. Having toughed it out during the blackout of 2003, I'd collected my "disaster bag" and I was heading back to my desk to grab it, assuming the worst (grid meltdown, whatever - it looked dark outside and I figured I was going to have to rescue myself). Then the fire tower door flew open and a security guard barged onto the floor and, of course, right into me.

We unscrambled and I tried not to let my hands roam all over his really fine body, before leaping to my feet. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew I might have been forced to run for my life, but hey, it's not often a girl gets to grope such a stud. I had never met the guy before, or seen him in the building. But then again, the night shift changed with great regularity and given the number of thefts we'd had recently, and his size and, uhm, level of fitness, perhaps building management was getting serious.

"We've got a serious electrical problem in the building. You need to evacuate. What are you still doing here anyway? Didn't you get the notice about the test of the emergency back-up electrical systems?"

"Well, no, obviously I didn't or I would be out having a nice cocktail and bowl of peanuts, wouldn't I?"

"Hey, don't worry, I'll get you down safely." He obviously has a caveman in his family tree, but I wasn't picky. If he could show me way down (I mean out of the building - get your mind out of the gutter!) I wouldn't mind if his knuckles dragged on the floor.

He followed me as I groped my way back to my desk, got my disaster bag and my purse and scrambled after him.

"I've got the key to override the elevator shutdown, so follow me." And he led me into the elevator which had only emergency lights running and slipped the key into the slot. The doors slid shut, the elevator started to drop - and then stopped.

"What the?" My guard wiggled the key, but nothing happened. Then he tried his radio, but got nothing but static.

"I guess the emergency back up systems don't, ah, work?" I suggested. I was trying hard not to panic, but I am so not good in elevators. Claustrophobia, don't you know?

He noticed my fidgeting and slumped back against the wall.

"You aren't one of those screamers, are you?"

Suffice it to say he distracted me. "Screamer?" My little coochie got a sudden quiver.

"You know, if you get stuck in an elevator? Some ladies freak out."

"Oh, I thought you meant, did I scream when I ..." I decided it must be the fright of the moment that made me blurt THAT out.

He actually grinned for a second.

Then the radio crackled to life.

"Rocky, come in."

My guard angel spoke into the radio. "Christ, don't call me Rocky, OK?"

"Fine, Rockford, the back-up's gone down. I got the repair guy on the way, but it may be a while."

"You mean I'm stuck here?" I shrieked.

Rocky turned to look at me. He was so not happy. "What, do you think I'll pull a Bruce Willis and climb through the roof of the car?"

"No. Sorry." I actually blushed because I pride myself on my ability to hold it together when all the shit is hitting the fan.

"Look, it won't be so bad. We'll, uh, play a trivia game or something."

He looked like he knew that it had been a pretty stupid thing to say. But then I had my own really wild and crazy idea. I bent over and pulled out the bottle of tequila I had in my bag. I was hosting an American Idol finals party at my apartment the next night and I bought it at a cheap liquor store near the office to save the few bucks. Lucky me!

I waved it at him and said in a voice I didn't know I possessed.

"Sounds like a great idea. How about strip trivia - loser strips and the winner gets a shot?"

The elevators went back on an hour or so later. We'd, uh, sort of lost track of time. We had just enough time to jump into our clothes and wipe up when the doors opened in the lobby.

"Sorry it took so long, folks," the repairman apologized.

I tried to stifle my grin and sound casual.

"Don't worry. We found a way to pass the time."

Wouldn't you know it, Rocky turned out to be a real trivia wiz.

The Best of the Best

Cissy and Brittany couldn't believe their good luck. The fan bus had been totally overloaded and the driver looked at the two cheerleaders and shook his head.

"You're gonna have to ride on the team bus. I'm over capacity and that's breaking the law."

"Aw, please, Mr. Consterhagen! We don't want to ride with all those boys!" Cissy effected a pout and Brittany did her best to hide her chortling.

"Girls, I'm sorry, but I'll radio the coach to wait for you."

Then the door closed and the two stood in a tizzy of anticipation.

"Can you BELIEVE it!" Cissy twirled around, feeling the chilly fall air swishing across the bare cheeks of her ass. She'd broken the cheerleading coach's rule and refused to wear the stupid old white panties that looked like something her grandmother would wear. Since she had come down with a cold she wouldn't be there to pull her out of the lineup and Cissy was all prepared with the lie that she just "forgot" the old fruit of the looms and had to make do with her thong! Yeah, right!

They hurried to the team bus and jumped on board to the cheers of the team. Nothing like the anticipation of a little coochy before hitting the field to get them all revved up.

The coach scowled, the girls preened and the boys cheered.

They scurried to the back and the coach got on his cell phone and that's when the girls went to town.

Or, rather, went down. Onto their knees. Several guys did their blocking thing, and the coach never heard the slurping, the sucking and the grunting as the dear little cheerleaders took several for the team.

He never saw Cissy with a cock down her throat, or Brittany licking cum off her chin.

And He never knew why his team whipped the other team's ass.

Because Cissy and Brittany had promised a tag team delight for the starting line if they won by 14.

Now THAT's school spirit!

Good With His Hands

Ever have one of those days? When anything that can go wrong, will ...

Monday was like that. I knew I had to be at work to prepare for a big Tuesday meeting, but when I climbed into the shower, the clanking, banging, hissing and the barest trickle of water told me plans had changed.

Calling the plumber meant calling work, too, and telling them I'd be prepping at home.

But see I have a thing about home repairs and my anxiety kept me from even opening my briefcase until the plumber arrived at around 4. Anticipating the usual butt-crack delight my plumbing company generally sends, I greeted, instead, a stud who looked like he'd just stepped off a Hunk of the Month calendar.

Tall, built like a brick shithouse with long black hair and big hands that looked like they could handle the toughest job, he also had a smile that inspired the naughtiest of thoughts in my oh-so-celibate brain. One that he bestowed upon me before sauntering into the house.

I explained the problem, trying not to drool, and he wandered off to do his thing in the bathroom. For my part I tried desperately to keep my focus on my work and not on the piece of work in my bathroom. No such luck.

By 5 pm it was getting dark and I'd lit some lamps and, having given up on work, I'd opened a bottle of wine. I didn't have a date that night (or any night within the next millenium) so I never got changed, but it was getting colder and I decided warmer clothing was in order.

Mr. Plumber had stuck his head out long enough to advise me that he'd be done within the hour, so I thought I would use the time to go change.

I had taken off my bathrobe and was naked and on my hands and knees attempting to pull a shoe out from under my bed when I heard a voice behind me.

"I've finished in the bathroom. Anything else I can do for your, uh, pipes?"

I was mortified and couldn't think of anything to do or say. Needless to say the thought that Mr. Stud was ogly my ass got my engine going. But fortunately my guy was a take-charge sort and when I felt a pair of hands reaching around my waist I only gave a little squeak.

"Just let me handle everything. I think I've got just the right tool for this job."

I was unceremoniously plopped down on the bed on my hands and knees and I heard a couple of thuds as boots fell, and then a zipper losing altitude and moments later a big, thick, supremely hard cock was poking at my ass.

I must have gasped, but Mr. Plumber laughed.

"Never had your butt fucked, babe? Well, let's wait and see. There's a first time for everything.....but let's start at the beginning. I'm a very thorough guy."

But instead he moved the head of his cock to my dripping wet little pussy and in a matter of seconds, I was impaled and being ridden by a master.

God bless home repair service!